Day 149 pt 2

The crazy part is that I actually thought that if I got past the wedding date (12/12/12) id be fine. The truth is ……I am fine….well, I have to keep saying it until I get there. Actually I’m better than I expected after five months. Wow, five months. I can’t believe its  been five months. I am actually surviving. Do I still hurt? Sure I do. Do I still miss her? Sure. But I get it. I understand that the person I fell in love with, gave everything I had to give to and pledged to love and stick with no matter what no longer exists. That person is long gone. But I miss that girl with the huge heart, infectious laughter, grace by the truckloads and an unparalleled love for who I was becoming.
Though I didn’t get to celebrate yesterday with that person……I celebrate that I, once in my life, was loved by an amazing woman and I loved her back unconditionally with everything I had. And despite how ugly things ended….there was beauty in the beginning…….I celebrate that once in my life…..I knew what it felt like to truly love and b loved. No boundaries….unconditionally…..with everything in me……and it is an experience that will never be matched. Happy Vday.


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