Day 154 – “to date or not to date” pt. 2

People put on their best “front” to be attractive. Cmon ppl! Would most men ask for a second date if she shows up with a ratty sweatshirt, cutoffs, hair in a scrunched and no make up? No! Women vice versa. When ur invited over to someones house, do they not clean up a bit? Of course! There is no way to know if they are a slob after the third date….or the sixth month of a relationship sometimes….. u CAN’T know whether they are good stewards of their money by the third date! Its impossible. And to ignore these things is to completely disregard the Biblical commandment to not be “unequally yoked”. ( which basically means don’t be connected in marriage to someone that is incompatible with you) For my Christian readers, this commandment isn’t only about being connected to unbelievers. There are millions of unsuccessful marriages with both being Christians because they are “unequally yoked”. Someone who is bad with money typically doesn’t work well with someone who is. There are exceptions. But typically its a recipe for disaster. One is a spender and one is a saver. Wanna take bets on his long it will be before the first big blowout about someones spending habits? EXACTLY! 

That’s why dating only for marriage doesn’t make sense. U can’t intend to marry someone u know nothing about and have no clue how honest they are being.

Personally, I’ve encouraged my daughters to date and date often for totally different reasons. Because dating teaches conflict resolution….which is the primary reason for so many miserable marriages in existence today. I encourage them to “date” with your head and leave your heart out of it. Get to know many ppl. Have fun. No sex. No falling in love. (Love is a choice, not something u fall into) date platonically. Enjoy movies, dinner, events as just platonic friends. As time passes, there may be no flags and the courtship may begin…..still leave your heart out of it. Only give your heart to your husband…..AFTER the I do. Not a second before. Dating only for marriage doesn’t save anyone from heartbreak. But keeping your heart OUT of your dating life and decisions DOES. This I can say because I have extensive experience in this area. Those who know my story know that this is true.
Proverbs 4:23 “above all things, GUARD your heart….” PERIOD.
Trust no one with it but the one who created it. But please by all means, “date”…..get to know ppl, meet new ppl, experience new things….but save the “I love u”s for your spouse……WHEN they are actually your spouse. I believe THIS accomplishes what the “dating while waiting ” proponents are trying to achieve. I warn, however, niave behavior will almost guarantee a broken heart…..a broken engagement or worse……a broken marriage. No one learns to drive in a few tries…..a baby doesn’t learn to walk on the first dozen tries……the baby falls often…..life, love and relationships are the same way….you are guaranteed to lose sitting on the sidelines.
Just my two cents…(more like $50) x…….dismounting soapbox

Laters

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