I’m going to pose some questions and make some assertions here that will make many uncomfortable …….(my brother is saying,” AND?……another unnamed close associate of mine is saying, “Oh God, what NOW?!) But, I say this to openly admit that this topic is not one that is readily discussed or even admitted. I am sure many will be offended but is it not my intention.
With that said, the above photograph causes me to pose an interesting question. Which to choose: a beautiful heart or beaautiful face? Now, instinctively, most would answer the question with, “a beautiful heart, of course! Looks fade.” And as a society we are comfortable with that pat answer. But truth be told, (here’s where I get into trouble) what woman wants to know that or hear that her significant other chose her for her heart but definately not for her looks? Is there a woman on the planet that doesn’t want her mate to say she’s asthectically beautiful? Never hear a compliment on her eyes, or hair or figure? Is there women that are ok never being described by their mate as “sexy”? I could be wrong, I often am, but I truly believe that if women are absolutely honest….there aren’t any. Mind you, there are those that will defend to the end, their stance of not needing physical affirmations by their mate. I believe that that is simply their defense mechanisms to prevent their feelings of inadequacy from surfacing. “If I don’t care about your opinion then your negative opinion won’t hurt my feelings.” ” I think I’m beautiful and that’s all that matters.” I call BS. If that were true, you’d never color your hair, wear makeup, bother with bodyshapers, tuck and pull everything into a visually pleasing area….burn your bra….if you think ur beautiful…tuck those puppies into your waistband and keep it moving! I’m just saying! U can’t see your pantyline so wearing a thong is for who?
So if we are so ready to accept that a beautiful heart is more valuable, why do we (men) feel the need to make our significant other feel beautiful when obviously sometimes that is not the case.
I know this isn’t PC but everyone isn’t a 10….or a 9….or even a 5. I hear you, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder..” But I humbly submit, are there not those of us who are “universally gorgeous”? We are quick to agree that this one or that one is absolutely stunning. U can’t imagine the weird looks I get when I say that Beyonce and Halle Berry do absolutely NOTHING for me, but county singer Gretchen Wilson and pop star Pink are magnificently yummy! Nonetheless, if we accept that some are universally attractive, then isn’t by default the opposite true? That there are those that are universally unattractive? And if that’s true, doesnt it stand to reason that they find love and happiness in relationships?
By now you are asking, “Ok already! I concede. What’s the point?” The point being, which should be the obvious choice? A beautiful face that you compromise the attributes of the heart because those can be changed with love, kindness and patience. Isn’t that what unconditional love is all about? Love given in spite of….? Or should we only extend that unconditional love to overlook certain visually deficiencies? The romantic ideals we so freely pass back and forth that sound something like, ” love him/her for their heart and everything about them will become beautiful” Wow. We even give ourselves an out for bold face lying. Where are those adults that are ok with honesty? “Hey, I’m not a 10 or a 5….so don’t tell me I am….but if u decide to love me, ill treat u like u r.” What’s wrong with that? Do we have to be so politically correct to acknowledge beauty where its obviously not to spare some feelings? Its like seeing n unattractive baby (YES, SUCK IT UP PPL! SOME BABIES ARE NOT CUTE!) and saying,” Oh his/her outfit is so adorable!” We do it all the time!
My point is simply this: because someone chooses a beautiful face and figure over a beautiful heart doesn’t make them shallow….answer are so apt to say. Neither does someone choosing a beautiful heart over a beautiful face make another have low self esteem. Neither is more honourable than the other. Neither is more noble than the other. Its ridiculous to pepitcuate that one is. Both are making obvious compormises. Both are willing to love past their intended’s flaws….whether they be on the inside or the outside. So i propose, lets stop lying to those we claim to love and give them the most precious gift of all……honesty. Maybe then we can all stop lying to ourselves…..
P.S. you KNOW this is foundation for another post…..right?
The question is: which would u choose and why? Feel free to comment. No judgement…just personal preference.
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