Day 218 – being present…in the present


The discovery of the joy of my present has been the fuel of my permagrin as of late. I am so excited about life nowadays I can barely contain it. Its quite the roller coaster ride the last couple of years, as u know. I was asked when did I finally “make the turn”. Heres how that happened.

I decided to adopt an attitude of gratefulness of my “now”. I decided not to just exist but enjoy every second of my life. Heres the release point. You can only be depressed about your past….which you cannot change or your ASSUMED future which you do not know. There is no way to be in a state of emotional distress over your “now”. I was hurt about what was taken from me….cant do anything about that. It wasnt my choice. I was devastated about the prospect of a future without her in it. I have no idea of what God has in store for me….that is an assumption that my future will be without love…..or her. I havent the foggiest clue. There are only three things to be done with the past, remember the joys, forgive the hurts and learn from your mistakes. There are but two things to do with your future: live today in integrity to sow a harvest into your future and trust the rest to Dad. The enemy uses your preoccupation with the guilt and shame of your past and the worry of the uncertainty of your future to paralyze you in your present…..all the while you are incapable of enjoying the joy, life and love that Dad has surrounded you with. Thats where I was. Paralyzed in my present because of the heartbrokeness of no longer having her beside me in life. Guess what. I miss her (I know that frustrates so many bc they would prefer me to be angry and beat up her character and attack her…I wont bc thats not what love does). But I am going to trust my future and hers to the only one who can ensure and protect it. Dad. And I am going to love every minute of my present…..bc my present is a “present” given to me by my Dad who loves me too much to let me just be a good man…..when He created me for greatness…..and He created her for the same greatness. I trust His future….and im going to wallow in the lap of His luxury of the present.  Maybe u should try the same. Ull b amazed how things change when u let go of ur past with ur left hand; release the responsibility of ur future with your right hand and grab ahold of your present with both…….and simply enjoy the ride…




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