My response to a reader walking the same road


I had a subscriber forward me a post of hers in which she was expressing her emotions and how shes feeling at this moment in her life. She asked me, “what do I do with the pain. I want to be angry because that’s so much easier to do….but I love him too much. Im tired of the rollercoaster of emotions im feeling. I want to be done loving him but I cant…even though I know he doesnt want me anymore.”

This is her post:

“Right now im done believing you, loving you, trusting you, missing you. You dont know what im feeling right now and you probably wouldnt even understand. Im less of a person because of you. Nothing in this world can match the pain im feeling right now–”

She had several responses to her comment varying from: “…I think you are more of a person…” and “you should never let someone break you down like that…” to “thats real talk…” and “I know exactly what you are feeling. .”

I took some time and thought…this is my response to her in her pain… (remember it wasnt very long ago, maybe 3 months when I was the exact same place….im JUST starting to accept life without the love of my life…so I get it)

“I applaud you for your honesty. Far too many ppl fool themselves into believing that they are “better for it” or they are “more of a person” bc of heartbreak. They believe their own lies and doom themselves to repeating the same mistakes over and over. Your honest evaluation of your grief and the admission of how you have been toen apart by the one you gave your heart to is the first step to recovery. I implore you, dont listen to the crap fed by those who are not man or woman enough to own, process and admit their loss. Let them stay on the hamster wheel of failure alone. Admit and own your hurt…take as long as you need to grieve….dont let anyone tell you that you need to get over it…or that you need to decide to be happy now….take your time. If it takes years, theres nothing wrong with that. People would rather get angry at the person who hurt them and hurl blame and character assassinations at the person the claimed to love once than admit that they are hurt and missing them. Dont fall into that trap. Properly process your pain, hurt and grief. You will never move on….until the time is right and uve properly healed. Dont rush it. Youve got all the time in the world.”

Any of you have any words of healing and advice for HEALTHY recovery for this brokenhearted young lady? I know a lot of you have been down this road and are yet travelling this path. I will gladly forward your comments and advice to her. I want all of us to heal….not to find love….but to not need to look for love anywhere but from within.



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