I have a friend that described an experience while traveling through the Blue Ridge mountains by car. The story struck me profoundly. He described it this way:”I was driving through the mountains and when I came to the top of the hill, I saw in front of me in the road, the most horrific automobile accident. Two cars had smashed into each other and there was torn metal and shattered glass everywhere. I pulled over and ran up to the first car. The man inside was slumped over the steering wheel….glass shattered outside and inside the car. Bruised and bloody…I reached inside the shattered window and touched his shoulder asking, “Sir…sir!….are you ok? Do you want me to call the police?” He slowly turned his head…bloody with glass in his head and muttered in a whisper,”no….no…call an ambulance.”
In my friends youthful exuberance, he was hellbent on assisting the driver in properly recording and assigning blame to correct person in the accident. But his exuberance BLINDED him to the fact both drivers very lives were in jepordary.
Sometimes in life, we experience a hurt so extremely painful…..so deep…so diabilitating….that we are emotionally hemorrhaging…..bleeding out…life threatening injury….and instead of running to the “doctor”….getting on our knees….running to the Healer….with emotional blood running down our hands..the knife of depression threatening to puncture the lung of our joy and peace of our lives….we call the “police” of the church, the patrolmen of our families, the sheriff of the neighborhood or our social circles to make sure the blame is assigned to the proper place….as we spiral into the depths of unhealthy living and die the slow death of an untreated fatal injury.
When we are entrenched in assigning other people the blame for our predicament. ..we are blinded to any other view but our own or views like ours.
John 9:2-3 KJV
And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.
Jesus’ own crew tried to blame a blind mans blindness on his parents sin or the mans sin. They hung out with Jesus and still displaced blame horribly. So to imply that we are too mature to make the same mistake, speaks to our own blindness. They lived with the only perfect man to ever live….and failed miserably. Weve never seen anyone who’s perfect.
I can speak as an authority on this subject because I too have done this very same thing. I blamed the failure of our relationship on her failure to keep her word. All the while, im emotionally bleeding out. Here’s the epiphany: Ready?
When you blame someone else for your pain..you transfer all the power to fix it or change it from you to them. If they caused it, then only they can change it. If you ended up where you are because of someone else then they will have to do something to fix it. Why would you ever do such a thing? If they wanted to ease your pain, they would be by your side trying to do just that. Why would you give the power to heal yourself to someone that your healing isnt important to? Not that it should. Its your healing. Not theirs.
Profound. Changed my life. Put down the citations and stop trying to catch ppl to ticket them for your hurt. Stop calling the police….call an ambulance.