It’s been awhile….let’s talk

It’s been awhile since we have just chatted. In my ferocious commitment to dispel the myths of my culture, to do battle with societal norms, I have somehow managed to become a bit “preachy”. Subsequently, I have lost a bit of personal transparency that I began this blog with….

With that in mind, I thought I would take a week to catch my followers up on the journey we began a little over a year ago.

I’ll be taking on the big changes one by one….day by day.
Today I’m in my emotions.

I’ve often wondered about the ripple effect…how one thing you do affects your life in so many untold ways for years to come.  Is there anyway to stop the ripples?
I’ve often replied to that, “Just get up and move to another pond.”

Easier said than done. Especially when you can never leave yourself.

I’ve often said when meeting ppl for the first time that I’ve gotten more wrong in life than right. Most take the statement as antidotal. I mean it in the most sincere way possible.
   I almost say that as a disclaimer so they will never expect perfection from me. But often times it’s misunderstood as a carte Blanche to fail. It’s a tough line to walk.

But most of all, with each day it causes me to forgive easier, have more compassion for others struggles, and treasure the love of my family that loves me still after every fall.

I’m growing in allowing accountability in my life…..prayfully. it’s tough. I’ve been very irresponsible with potential friendships in my life. I’ve spent most of my life befriending those who could help me instead of befriending ppl I could be of service to. Subsequently, I have not often lived up to the expectations of those in my life and therefore losing the friendship.

With that now recognized, I’ve restructured my life with mentors and mentees. People who know from God that they are meant to push me even in my failures and people who know that I am meant to be in their lives to push them. Relationships with divine purpose.

This is a bit of a ramble but I’ve had to let go of some people It hurt terribly to. I had to choose between staying in the past with them or moving to my future with God. It’s harder when no one gets it. But if I stay in the past I might as well die already. Forward progress is the only way I can breathe now.

Grace, forgiveness and love are the lessons I’m learning these days. As everyday passes I treasure them more and more when I find them. And learning to give them more and more freely…..because they are rare in such an imperfect world filled with chronically imperfect people.
One day, we will get there….perfection…..but until then…..hold each other tight, love each other fiercely and never let words spoke in anger….
Lies spoken in fear….
Disappointment realized….
Betraying your children. ..
Everything in this world that could break a heart…..

Never let any of these separate you from “the love of God”…..

Which is never love you felt….
Its Only the love you share


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