The hard truth of a gentleman

I have often said that the best example of a gentleman is God. It’s absolutely amazing to me how we look to a self help gurus; celebrities; talk shows hosts and everywhere else to define the attributes of a gentleman…but completely ignore the best example of all….God. We spiritualize Christianity and save it for when we’re in trouble; need a miracle or only in church….but Steve harvey is a better source on how to be a man?! Really? Let’s look at some of these attributes I am so fond of.

1. God loves us based on the fact that we exist. Not on our performance.
We so often decide as men that we will treat others with love and kindness as long as they do “the right thing”. That’s not how a gentleman responds.  Love and care is part of HIS nature.  So it is a constant. Whether it is returned or appreciated. Jesus loved us before we even got here. And when we screw up, he loves us still. A gentleman loves because that who he is and what he does….never as a reward for good behavior.

2. God will always respect our right to choose.
God will never force himself on us. We as men should never force ourselves on anyone. A gentleman presents his love and respects the right of the recipient to accept it or reject it. His love never wavers or wanes. Just like God,  he never walks away. But he never forces his way into a life.

My older daughters are an excellent example of this. While I love them dearly, my 18 yr old still is very angry with me for being out of their lives for so long. While I consistently attempt to show that I am here for her, I respect the fact that she has the right to be angry and not respond to me. Doesn’t change the fact that I’d move mountains for her. But I respect her wishes.
    A gentleman respects the choices of those whom he loves.

3. God will use whatever means necessary to reach us until we hear him
God’s love is fierce and unrelenting. He speaks to us through His Word, through music, through our friends, through parents,  through situations….any means necessary. When we are in danger, God will go to the ends of the earth to reach us. Until he knows we’ve heard him.
  Men, we are to do the same. A gentleman will do whatever is necessary to protect what he claims to love. How can you love what you are unconcerned about? That is the struggle that my 18 yr old is dealing with. While I was intermittently involved in her life. She felt by my actions for several years that I was unconcerned about her. So how could I love her. Frankly, my actions said exactly that. But as I matured and learned a father’s role, I understood my actions speak volumes and my words didn’t matter.
   Jesus died to protect us from what we didn’t know we needed saving from. Neither did we ask to be saved from. Why?  Because he loved us that much. And now He warns us and guides us from danger through our friends, family and a myriad of other methods.
    Men, we as gentleman should emulate this same principle.  A gentleman will call his daughters friends. A gentleman will meet his spouses friends. A gentleman will drop whatever he’s doing if he feels his wife is in danger. There is nothing that will stop him. The four pillars of manhood are: a pillar, a protector, a priest and a provider.
A gentleman protects his heart not because he’s asked to out of reaction. He protects his heart before his heart from danger they don’t even see.

4. God affirms our worth and value by constantly letting us know how loved and special we are.
God tells us from Genesis to revelations that we are His pride and joy. That he is jealous for us. He doesn’t want to share us. And he has the best for us, beyond our wildest hopes and dreams.
Even when we want nothing to do with him, he’s still preparing to provide us with everything we’ve ever needed or wanted.
  Men, that is our blueprint. A gentleman doesn’t go to work because his wife/significant other has shown him how much she loves him. He works and saves and shows love/affection because he’s committed.
  I have a friend who knew his wife when he saw her. No doubt in his mind. But there’s was plenty doubt in hers. She agreed to date him and he went about preparing for a life together….all the while she told him…”I don’t know if I could ever marry you.” He wasn’t here type. He never pressured her. Never mentioned it again. He took on another job to rebuild his credit. Saved up for a down payment for a house. Bought a ring.  Even after she broke up with him. He never showed anger. He never begged. He was there to listen for hours as she cried over the next guy she dated broke her heart. He helped her move into her own place when that guy put her out. Never pushing the issue. He remembered her birthday when the others forgot. He always called when the jump offs never did. He couldn’t compete when the next guy took her to Rome or bought diamonds….but he was there when he moved on to another.
  Guys, do you see the common thread here? God is the exact same. We forget to spend time with him because we’re busy. He still wakes us up. We skip church because we’ve had a hard week. He still provides us with our needs. Whether we think Him or not.
   By the way, they’re happily married now (5-yrs) and she still says she doesn’t understand why she was “stuck on stupid” for so long.
Men, marriage and relationships are NOT about us. They are completely about “them”. Whether it’s your kids, your coworkers, your family, your neighbors, your church and your mate.
This is why we were commanded to love our wives as God loved the church and they were not.
In order for those around us to learn how to learn love, we must love them to excellence through our example through the principles taught and lived by a Nazareth born gentleman by the name of Jesus.

Let it marinate flks


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