I’d love to…….

Sorry my friends,  I know I’ve been lamenting and sharing very personal difficulties….but those that have been with me from the start; knows the origins of this blog are from a very personal journey of healing from heartbreak. I vowed transparency….I aim to keep that vow.
   I want to be poetic….but I’m struggling just to breathe.
I still don’t understand why every heartbreak takes me right back to her living room floor. Or that Sunday afternoon when I came home to everything I’ve ever given her on my porch.
    Why do I always end up at odds with God over pain?
Why are we always at odds over my heart? Just want to love like him. And it’s hard for me to understand when people don’t want to be loved.
    But let’s be real…there’s just as many that we don’t want to be loved by. I’ve got a few. I’m sure you do.
     I always wonder why is it that the people we would give anything to love, prefer to be loved by another or not loved at all? And those who would give anything for us to love them back; we simply can not?
   Is there not a huge gaping flaw in the grand design of the plan? As so aptly described in the movie “The matrix”, is “the anomaly” not glaringly apparent?
    I have not the answers. For if I did, I would be unbelievably and almost nauseatingly happy. But I, not unlike many of you, are wading among the mucky Grey fog of life…..trying to reconcile the unequality of what our souls tell us belongs to us and our present reality says is a bastion of futile effort.

Press on my friends…..my heart won’t permit me to do anything else…..as I suspect neither will yours.

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