The difficult part of growth.

You guys don’t get this often much anymore. But today…I’m just going to talk.
    Feeling a little frustrated. Okay….really frustrated.
I periodically go back to read my earlier posts to get a realistic picture of my progress and growth.
   My have I grown! At one time I could not see a pathway to the realization of my dreams to help others. I would not have ever allowed myself to be transparent enough to author a book…let alone several. New city, new businesses, new beginnings. At one time I honestly believed that being a man of vision and focus could never be a great husband. All to realize that in order to be a man of great dreams and vision you must first be a great husband. I once thought you needed to make a choice between purpose and your mate. But actually without “the One”, you are handicapped in your efforts to accomplish your purpose. Can it be done? Sure. But it’s so much harder without them.
   I have grown so much as a Dad,  a musician, a business, a man, a citizen, a believer and as a future mate.

Here’s the frustration: To what end?
   I mean really?  What was the point of all of that growth?
Yes, I know the missionaries still need a place to live. The middle class still needs educating. My daughters still need to see the world.
Homeless still need a hand up instead of a handout. I get it.

But what I don’t get is why give life to a dream to let it fall apart, God?  If my motivation and strength comes from the gratefulness for you placing my “amazing” in my life…..and she’s not there….what did I go through hell for to become a man of integrity?
So I can feel good about me?
Well that’s just pointless and self serving!

It all goes back to our conversation in 08. “Why would you make me like this? A giver at heart….wanting just to find “the one” I can actually trust….to be open with. Dream with. Change the world with. Do what you created us to do together…why would you put a giver inside of me and refuse to allow the receiver to come?”

Will I work on the other stuff. Sure. Will I accomplish some of it. Probably. Will I enjoy it. Maybe. But it doesn’t hold the same value as it would without the “why”.

I never believe the guy who says, “I climbed mount everest just because it was there.”
“I married her because she was single and I was single.”
“I tried crack because it was on the kitchen table.”

All crap

Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Winston churchill, John F Kennedy, Richard Branson and Dwight Eisenhower were men who impacted history not because history was available for impact……they had a “why” that had nothing to do with them. They were all driven by a love. A passion. And all of them focused their love on their mates….and as women do….their mates multiplied that passion; gave it back to them and they took it to the planet.
   Give a woman a seed…nine months later she will give you a baby.
  Give a woman a few items from the grocery store and a little time….she’ll give you a meal.
   Give her unconditional love and if she allows herself to be who she really is…..she’ll love you back more than you could imagine.
  Give a woman an idea….
She’ll give you back a business
   Give her a little trouble
She will heap the gates of hell on your head.

Women are built to multiply.

And therein lies my struggle.
Why bother growing me to this place and keep my “why” from me?

But as always…..Dad never explains anything to me…..He only gives instruction.


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