It’s been awhile since this or any other of my blogs has been written from a personal “bay window” point of view.
Today is one of those few rarities….
I’ve learned that most people aren’t permanent fixtures in your life. Maturity is allowing them to exit as gracefully as they entered.
The problem is, to extend yourself openly to such endeavors leaves you exposed and allowing them to leave with far more information than is prudent.
So therein lies the quandary of life. To trust without prejudice is to have faith in the moral fortitude of a species that relishes it’s most fanstatic of failures. But to approach every contact with a suspicious eye and cautious hand is to metaphorically stab hope in the heart and maliciously twist the blade.
So then, what do we do?
When transparency is considered deferred blame and caution is considered distrust? When advice is considered overbearing control and a silent ear is considered nonchalant?
How do you speak when everything you say is wrong but how do you not speak when silence is considered indifference?
When no one is brave enough to say what is it they truly want but throw an adolescent temper tantrum when they are not given that which they are too afraid to ask for?
“I want you to call,Dad but I’m not going to answer or return your calls…but keep calling because that’s the only way I know you care.”
“Son, I want us to have the kind of relationship I want and understand even though I haven’t maintained a viable relationship with anyone my entire life.”
“I want you to chase me in circles until I get tired then be vulnerable enough to let me hurt you deeply….then I’ll decide if I’ll commit….”
“I’m not your past so don’t treat me like them…..but don’t call me out when I assume you’ll do the same thing every friend has ever done to me….”
Praytell….I implore those who possess wisdom and experience that dwarfs my meager intelect….
What in the hell are we supposed to do with that?
(Now where’s that bridge because I simply would prefer driving off of it than tolerate this clumsy and perplexing Irish folk dance of emotional chess)