By Dale Partridge
The desire to be married and the desire to be single are both valid journeys. We shouldn’t assume getting married is the right path for everyone. But in a recent study statistics show a majority of people would rather be coupled up than end up single in the years after 30.
I recently reviewed a book discussing the true characteristics of a man worth marrying. It’s titled: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
Ultimately the concept suggests that women should consider “settling” for a man who satisfies her major needs but may not fulfill her laundry list of wants. She makes a great point about the qualities that make up a strong spouse and parent, are not necessarily the same which produce butterflies or physical desires.
She discussed the misconception women have in the search for the perfect man. How they spend their 20’s and 30’s passing up 8’s to hold out for a 10 (which doesn’t exist). They then find themselves in their late 30’s and early 40’s settling with a 5 because that’s all who is left. Pretty powerful concept.
First let me lay down a few rules:
Not all 4 may apply to you, but please appreciate that they could apply to others.
This is obviously an article for those who desire to be married, if that’s not you, look at a few of my other articles. 🙂
You share important core beliefs and values: This is number one for a reason. Connecting on a spiritual and emotional level is just as critical as the physical. To be frank, if you don’t align on the things that truly matter, it’s better to cut your losses now and start the search for the man who does.
You have fun together: Now we all have fun on the first 20 dates, but I’m referring to the hundred that follow. Are you able to laugh, have meaningful conversation, and truly enjoy each other for years to come? If so, you might have a keeper.
He’s beyond honest: If you catch a scent of dishonesty, watch out! A man’s need to lie is a telling clue about his character and emotional health. It can indicate real insecurity, lack of integrity, or lack of moral standards. And if lying shows up consistently while dating, it’s possible to get worse during marriage. The flip-side: a man who consistently tells the truth is a man who doesn’t have something to hide. This is the type of guy worth marrying.
He fights fair (most of the time): After being married for over 4 years now, I can tell you arguing is a part of every relationship. Of course there will be days where the both of you leave the house in a fit, but we must remember arguments should end with either an agreement, a compromise or a solution to move the relationship forward. But at the end of the day, he must fight fair – not getting angry with each disagreement, not always needing to get the last word in or dropping to the level of throwing insults in place of mature discussion. If your man can fight fair at least most of the time, it’s a good sign he’s worth marrying.
So where do you stand? Are you passing up 8’s to snag a mythical 10? Are you shooting for the moon and not willing to land on a star? How did this article make you feel? Let me know in the comments below.