There are two schools of thought about how to intelligently choose a mate. I am not attempting to dictate which one is right or wrong. I am a staunch believer in the thought process that what works for me probably doesn’t and probably won’t work for you. I am a proponent of choice. In every area of life. But I disgress.
Tohighlight the two schools of thought on choosing a mate I’m going to borrow the post of a very good friend of mine to illustrate one. The post was as follows:
Now to be fair, this is a common line of logic and generally well intended advice. I MUST also say that this was only a PORTION of what was said by my friend and I’m using this by permission.
But I ask, is marriage simply a merger of two independent entities or is it intended to be something greater?
I have three daughters. I would advise them to always make smart decisions. But I think that the definition of a smart decision has been warped by our fear of failure.
A smart decision is one made with one’s heart not with one’s head.
I do understand that thought process flies in the face of conventional beliefs. And the reason they are conventional and so generally well accepted is due to our natural preponderance to fear. We, as a country and species, have proven time and time again that we will move quickly when motivated by fear and are extremely risk averse.
The problem with that line of thinking is that it irrevocably ties the hands that mold our future. How can we say that we want an amazing marriage and spouse but refuse to risk anything for it? Greatness costs. Mediocrity is cheap. If we write off those who have dysfunctional families, 80% of Americans should remain single!
We must lead with our hearts and take our heads with us…..not the other way around.
I could pontificate endlessly on this topic but I will close with this:
You can never have a spouse that you know will go through hell and high water with you….if you wait until you’ve been through all of your hell and high water. You can never trust them. It’s the falliabilites that bind us. My future Mrs. Forever once told me, “….it makes you more human to share your struggles with me.” I have never forgotten that. I urge you to throw away your lists of things your future must live up to. The goal of marriage is not to be with someone who makes you happy…..it is to be with someone who you constantly cannot wait to make happy. The goal is not to find perfect on paper…..it’s to find perfect for your heart. God handles EVERYTHING else…..
P.S. Men, just looking at her should make you feel how much God loves you. Enough to make her specifically for you with every thing, quirk, shape, voice and character trait you’ll ever want or need….
She should make you feel like this Brandon Heath song…
Enjoy….and let it marinate, folks (Ping)
Brandon Heath – The Light In Me: http://youtu.be/VdAKabU3nOM