We are our own worst enemy.

Today’s uncomfortable observation

We often find ourselves in the throes of uncomfortable and undesirable situations in life. Everything from unfulfilling occupations to unfulfilling marriages and everything in between.

We agonize over the reemedies. Talk to friends and confidantes to ascertain the causes of our struggles. We simply want the bad feelings or uncomfortableness to stop.

We don’t like who we are when we feel that way; are around those people; have to deal with those problems…..have to live THAT life.

Frustration with ourselves and the situation keeps rearing it’s ugly head over and over. And when we believe we’ve gotten past it…..here it comes again.

And the solution constantly evades us….

Or so we would LIKE to believe….

Truth is….or a more accurate statement is: the solution we want evades us…

Why? Because it doesn’t exist.

We make ourselves a prisoner to our struggles by our refusal to accept truths and solutions that don’t readily fit into our preconceived notions of how life works.

(Reread the above statement again and let that marinate a bit)

Here’s one of the most profound statements ever said to me by one of my mentors:
Life is a journey of discovering what you don’t know…..not a dissertation of what you’ve learned.

In all actuality, the cause or root of our discomfort with our struggles isn’t with the people involved or the entities involved or our decisions that led us here…..
It’s with our limits on what we will allow ourselves to believe is true and plausible.

Let me give those who are struggling to follow me a metaphor: (promise not to let the former preacher part of me run this! Lol)

67% of Americans literally hate their jobs. Yet they keep going to work. Why? Because they refuse to let go of the way their parents told them life is supposed to go.

Get good grades. Go to college. Get a degree. Get a good job. Be a good employee and you’ll get promoted. Work twenty years and retire.”

As Twitter lays off 336 engineers (all with college degrees) ; Target lays off 3,100 employees(including the HR staff that helped with the first round of layoffs); IBM, HMV and the list goes on…..that plan doesn’t work for anyone in this economy. Hasn’t worked for decades. If you haven’t been affected yet….your time is coming.

All of this blatantly obvious information is everywhere for every American to see and digest….but what do the majority of Americans do? Keep looking for a better job to get laid off from.

Why? Because they refuse to accept that they have to do the hard work of ensuring their own economy by being an employer instead of an employee. Many will say, “I don’t want to own a business. I’m not a business owner.”

Pure copout.

What they really won’t admit is: “I’m too scared to try and don’t want to fail so I’d rather put my future in someone else hands and complain when it doesn’t turn out the way I want.”

The climate has changed. But many are struggling because they refuse to let go of the way things were. So we blame the government. Society. Racism. Police. The system. Location. The taliban. Isis. Oh we’ve got the blame thing down.

When will we get it?
So your marriage isn’t working the way your parents did. Open your mind enough to realize that it was never intended to. 
That’s why it’s not working. You’re trying to have a marriage that isn’t yours.

So church is uncomfortable for you. Maybe because of the people, the pastor, the music, the ushers, your past…..
Have you ever thought that the purpose for even going to church has nothing to do with the people that show up?

If I choose not to come to your house when you invite me because someone else there makes me feel uncomfortable, how would that make you feel?

Isn’t the purpose for me coming to see you is….uhmmm …..to see you?

Church is the same way.

My point is: we reduce church to a social event and are disappointed when things are uncomfortable. That’s making a time for God and us all about the dynamic between the people and us! Why are we confused when people act like people and not like God?

We reduce income and our financial future to trading time for dollars and are distraught when we are let go or haven’t enough money. And yet we continue following the same plan that has failed millions time and time again by going from job to job in misery.

We reduce marriage to a shopping mall where we go to get whatever we need instead of an investment we invest heavily to enjoy a lifetime of returns…..then we’re disappointed when we don’t have the marriage we’ve been conditioned to want.

I say all of this…. (sorry about the preacher taking over for a bit) to say this:

Life is not nor will ever be a happy experience for anyone who doesn’t divorce themselves of ALL of their preconceived notions of what it has been.

Life is about learning…not about forcing your “NOW” into the tiny box of your “history”.

Consistently frustrated is he that lives everyday trying to relive yesterday while attempting to force everyone around him or her to do the same.

Believe in your greatness enough to embrace change. Just because it’s always been that way…..doesn’t mean it has to stay that way……because in reality….it wont….and your happiness and success is solely contingent on you being agile enough emotionally, professionally, relationally and mentally to embrace the
Evolution of life… 

Everything evolves….so must you.

Intelligence is not how much you know….
It’s knowing how much you have to learn
And being willing to learn it….

Eternally happy is the man who passes up a chair at the table of “I Cant” to sit on the floor near the table of “I haven’t YET” and readily gathers the crumbs of “I’ll try again and again”.

do not live a life in the prison of your own preconceived ideas and complain about the prison conditions when the key to your cell is hanging around your own neck.

Let it marinate folks…..



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