Falling in love with the process

This will be a bit transparent…that’s my only disclaimer.

wpid-img_36238050386652.jpegI’ve been on a roller coaster for a few months now. Roller coaster of emotions. My life has completely been turned upside. Don’t misunderstand. While it has been a core shaking experience…..and it’s not over…..I’ve decided to see it as an opportunity, not as another series of obstacles.

It’s been an opportunity for my honey to see my at my most vulnerable. I had the opportunity earlier this year to walk through some very hard times with her….seeing her vulnerable. I choose to believe that these experiences will shape and bond us closer than we would have ever expected. An

An answer to the prayer I’ve prayed for months: “God, shape and build us into a team. With an unshakeable faith, unshakeable love, and unbreakable bond. Help me to be a leader, provider and protector that she can trust, love and follow. Show me her weak places that I may protect them and show her mine. Help me to love her like you do.”

Funny thing about prayers…..they’re never answered the way you anticipate them to be.

I expected to be on top of the world by now….a little more than a year later…and actually, if I’m completely honest….I’m closer than I’ve ever been.

I’ve spent the majority of my life trying to “change the world”. Much to the shigrin of my mom. I was born with a chip on my shoulder with something to prove. Raised being told what I would never be…..I have been hellbent on proving the world wrong.

In these last few months, I’ve discovered that I am exactly what I’ve always fought to prove. I’m a good man. Reasonably intelligent. I have a heart for people. And I have and will make the world a better place than it was when I found it. Instead of going about BEING that man, I’ve wasted time and energy trying to prove that I was…..by others definitions. It is a futile goal. I was given this invaluable advice that I will never forget.

“Your reputation is what other people think of what you do while they’re looking. Your Character is what you do when no one is looking and why you do it. Your reputation is other people’s opinions which you cannot control. Your Character is the only thing you can control. Use your time and energy wisely.”

I know it may sound as if I’m rambling, but I say all of this simply to make this point…..

When we pray or reach for a goal, often times the answer is already in process of being worked out. Interestingly enough, We’ve Already have been equipped to accomplish those  dreams and goals we are too fearful to try. But because God loves us so incredibly deeply….He refuses to let us settle for less than His best….So

He stretches us and challenges our character to make us ……not better or worthy of our amazing

But to cause us to see the amazing that He created in us at birth

The journey of life isn’t about becoming a better you…..its about discovering and uncovering the “better you” that has always been.

the Caterpillar isn’t replaced by the butterfly. The butterfly has always been inside the caterpillar.

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