Hopefully, I am journaling what will be a best seller one day.
The last Hoorah
Last night, I rediscovered something I once took advantage of. The wealth of information disceminated on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. I was so fortunate to catch Brene Brown’s session on the definition of Trust. Wow is all can say!
I’m going to include the link because my synopsis of that powerful session would be a complete and total disservice.
Believe me when I say, if you are the kind of person that is actively trying to better yourself, your life and freely admit that making progress is the best life has to offer….this will excite you.
I guess that brings me to the point of my post. In my forties, Ive come to realize that most of the world ISN’T like me. There are a few. But there arent many, that i have met. I would spend countless hours and angst; frustrated because my vision and drive was incomprehensible for most in my immediate vicinity. I am just getting to the place where I no longer expect my drive, my purpose, my dreams and my goals to make sense to anyone but me. I don’t expect anyone to work for them or understand why I work so hard for them but me. I have recently given myself permission to no longer explain my actions to others. It is a freeing experience.
As Brene Brown so eloquently stated, “We can’t ask people ot give to us something that we do not believe we’re worthy of recieving. And you will know you’re worthy of recieiving it when you trust yourself above everyone else.”
I have personally spent so much energy and effort of trying to walk the line and win the approval of those I’ve chosen to love. My kids, my parents, my friends….other people’s friends….that Ive manage to waste decades of my life with nothing to show for it but angst. refusing to move in a direction until I get the OK form someone whose opinion I respect or value…and the results of such an action are and have been completely and solely mine to digest.
I’m learning to trust myself above all others. And if it doesnt serve or feed my future, to stand firm in my right to say NO. While staying committed to my YES to myself and my life.
If you take the time to listen to Brene Brown’s session, pay close attention to her “Braving” breakdown of the anatomy for Trust. When we trust, we are “braving” connection with someone else.
B – Boundaries
R – Reliability, not just valid once….but reliable
A – Accountability – when you make a mistake you own it, apologize and make amends. i can only trust you if when i make a mistake, im allowed to own it, apologize for it and make amends.
V – Vault -What I share in confidence stays in confidence. And what others share with you will stay in confidence from me.
I – Integrity (This is by far the most incredible definition of integrity I’ve ever heard)
N – Non-Judgement
Tweetable Quote: “Trust is like a marble jar. You share the hard things and stories that happen to you in life with those friends who YOU have, over time, filled up their marble jar. They’ve done thing after thing after thing where you say, ‘I know I can share this with this person.'” – Brene Brown
Question of the day: “How do your marble jar friends earn marbles for you? Trust is built in the small moments where your marble jar friends earn those marbles however that looks for you.”
Example: “I trust (give a marble to) that person because they will ask for help when they need it.”
Thanks Ron for being a “marble jar” friend.