i think we most often are disappointed in our lives when execution doesnt meet expectations. Whether it is our expecetation of what college will be like and after the first semester, discovering that it isnt one party after another.
Or the new career. After four years of college and we finally land the job of our dreams….or so we thought. To discover that the day-to-day execution and everyday tasks of being a news anchor or lawyer isnt nearly as glamourous as we anticipated or imagined it to be.
I believe that most situations like this are born out of conversations never had or avoided due to the level of uncomfortability assoicated with them.
In my own life, my daughters and I experienced years of disappointment and struggle in our relationships due to the fact that we wouldnt discuss our definitions of love and what those definitions birthed in the way of expectation in each of us.
My mother and I have had struggles in our relationship because of a communication barrier. As we have both matured, we have been able to discuss and articulate our own definition of love to each other. Which happen to be very different. And thats perfectly okay.
Most of our definitions of love are going to be different and none of them are wrong.
They are yours and your alone. Own your definition and be okay with your definition. Do not expect or demand others to share have your definition. respect others right to have their definition as they respect yours. What causes two people to bond is the amount or measure of respect, concern and care two people care for each others definition of love and the lengths they are willing to go to meet each others definitions.
I will go to the ends of the earth to meet my daughters definitions. There is no place i wont go. I dont always meet their expectations. But they afford me the grace to to be imperfect and try again. They dont always meet mine. But I afford them the same grace.
by now you’re probably curious what my definition is….
I’ll end this post with my definition. I am not sharing to give you a concrete definition. I give you mine simply to provoke you to find yours but more importantly SHARE IT! And allow others to share theirs and live them out with you….as my daughters have allowed me to do so.
We have to have the conversation folks….
We cultivate love when we allow our most powerful and vunerable selves to be deeply seen and known and when we honor the spiritual connection from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. I have found no examples of love in my life’s experience that dont include: trsut, respect, kindness and affection.
Love is not something we give or get…It’s something we nuture and grow.
It’s a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it existed in each one of them. We can only love others as much we can allow them to be their imperfect self perfectly.
Let it marinate folks.