Making my way home to the Mrs.

I haven’t met her yet. Don’t know her name. But I’m taking this year to get all of my personal baggage disposed of. Facing all of my inner demons and conquering them all. No matter how hard. She deserves it. She’s worth it. I’m committing to making the financial sacrifices this year to prepare a life and a home for her. Some say why do this in a public forum? Isn’t it  less romantic?  I say its just the opposite. Because my dreamgirl will be proud to share our story….not hide it. She will be proud that others can read the story of a man that loved her before she met him. She will be honored at such a public declaration of commitment. She will treasure a man not afraid to publicly declare his faith, his love and his committment to her…..long before he ever holds her hand….he’s pledged her his heart. This is that story…… is that not romantic?


Well, I met her. And shes everything i imagined. (pardon the lack of punctuation) I could ponctificate for hours about the amazingness that exists in her every movement. But I won’t.
Because in my furious search for her
my quest for her perfection
i forgot one key ingredient…

While “she” is my “Amazing”, I actually may not be hers…….

See thats the part of the ABC miniseries that ends up on the cutting room floor. The part the directors always leave out.
And unbeknowing to us all, we watch and ingest the fairy tale then set upon the quest to find our own.
And when we find the ever elusive “amazing”
and she stands before us in all of her glory and raven beauty
We never stop to think that we may not be her or his amazing….

That we may be in the right place with the right person at the wrong time

That it actually may be the plan of the universe that we miss each other and live without ever knowing what the feeling of that completeness is like

that the practice of searching for the unattainable maybe the lesson not the goal.

But most importantly……that it just may not be what she wants…..maybe not right now….maybe never…..

The question then becomes….what do you do when youve found what youve been searching for and you cant have it?

What happens when the person you cant live without can and chooses to live without you?

What then?

I guess we will find out together….

All aboard…..the train is departing the station.


5 thoughts on “Making my way home to the Mrs.

  1. I love going back and reading how ive grown through my journey. Its amazing how I once thought this to be true. Equally amazing is how I NEEDED to believe this to be true…to heal to a place where it no longer NEEDS to be true. Confused? I needed to believe that there was a happy ending to keep mov8ng forward. Now I realize… my own happy ending. No one else required other than “Dad” required. Freedom is beautiful.

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